- last week was super fab with dan and just ugh i can’t even talk about it because i miss it already
- and it’s back to reality. the next six weeks are gonna suck ass and i am in dire need of getting my grades up and i will actually hate my life until may 14th
- but then after that dan and i are planning on taking a lil trip up to chicago to celebrate our one year which is exciting ^.^
- as far as eating goes, as much as i hated it, last week kinda kicked my ass into the *right* direction. i had a few low-intake days, but never on purpose, just accessibility. but overall i probably ate close to full mp. if not more (because there was also a lot of wine involved)
- but i’m not freaking out about it even though i *do* feel like i’ve gained. but fuck it. i don’t have time nor the energy to deal with ed’s shit right now. and i have tons and tons of things to look forward to and i would like to be able to do them without any anxiety or behaviors so i’m just going to continue going with the flow and eating when my body asks for food and treating myself nicely.
- but i do think i am going to start working out again. dan asked me if i would start going with him, since he hasn’t been going to the gym consistently since he ~retired from football. probably just like 2-4 times a week, and he said he would watch me and make sure i ate more on those days. he’s really a peach.
- bed time ~ night angels :*
I clean my makeup off with Simple cleansing wipes before washing my face with Eminence’s bright skin face cleanser and lately I’ve been using Olay’s active hydrating cream but it’s really heavy and makes me break out a little so I’ll probably go back to using Simple’s face lotion soon.
Hair: What hair color looks best on you and what’s your natural color?
My natural color is like a mousey brown, but I honestly feel most like myself as a redhead. Plus people always assume it’s natural because of my complexion so I suppose it looks best this way anyway :p
Neck:Do you wear necklaces?
I feel like necklaces are really personal pieces, like heirlooms or crucifixes or gifts or something, so I feel uncomfortable buying/wearing them as accessories alone. So, I typically don’t wear them but I would if I had one that meant something to me!
Heart:Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Double yes and it is weird.
Feet:Favorite pair of shoes?
Hair: What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color?
Skin: Do you tan easily?
Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
Tongue: What was in your last meal?
Windpipe: Do you sing?
Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)?
Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone?
Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
Back: Are you a virgin?
Hips: Do you like to dance?
Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
Feet: Favorite pair of shoes?
- first things first: this month is already going by so fast oh my god.
- spring break starts in a week which is exciting but scary for a lot of reasons??
- but dan’s parents got us arcade fire tickets for the 16th so…yes?!!????
- we had critiques in my painting class thursday night and everyone only had good things to say about mine ^.^ my professor said he was even impressed with a few of them which shocked me a bit but hey i’ll take it.
- i keep getting weird/brainy with dan which isn’t okay and i feel like i’m putting a lot of stress on our relationship. but i mean…i can’t help that i still have panic episodes sometimes? or that sometimes i want to try to forget my body, meaning i can’t be touched/held/fucked at any given time. this is okay and i can’t feel guilty for it.
- but i’ve been doing a lot better and have been trying to start following meal plan again which has been a bitch but whatever. i have to do it. there really isn’t any other option at this point.
- it’s warming up!!! literally all i care about atm.
- i spent an obscene amount of money on clothes today but it’s okay because i’ve been putting in a lot of hours and i rarely treat myself to anything anymore (including relaxation) so it’s okay.
- i might spend the rest of the day in the art building bc there is nothing to do. the usual.
- i hope you all have a happy saturday!